#notice how i didnt mention mathematicians

[quinn-fucks-shit-up]

love how little distinction is given to the sciences when it comes to mad scientists

like, yeah, sure, some guy made a ray gun, but why is that same guy making toxic goo?? unless that goo is toxic, as in radioactive, something isn't adding up

[velvetpsychokiller12]

Sweater weather (Sanders sides fanfic)

Hey howdy hey here's a fic no one asked for..

Warnings: Some angst, mention of death, snek boi.

Pairing: none.

Genre: slight angst, sorta silly at the end.

Summary: Thomas and the sides are visiting L.A, and sorta don't take into consideration that Deceit is literally partly reptile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last day of VidCon certainly wasn't as eventful or hectic as the first days, but that didn't stop Thomas and the sides from attending. They had already spent most of their time there socializing with fans and fellow youtubers alike. For them and just about everyone else, Sunday was just a chill day to browse the remaining booths and buy merch.

Throughout the day, fans would ask for pictures or hugs. Patton and Roman took quite a while browsing booths for pride pins, and as the sun just barely started to set, the group decided to wrap things up and make their way back to the hotel.

Normally they would have called a cab or an Uber, but the hotel was only about a fifteen, maybe twenty minute walk, and it had only just started snowing, so the gang had decided walking would be the best option, much to Deceit's dismay.

"Well if you had dressed appropriately, then maybe you wouldn't be so apprehensive about walking like the rest of us" Logan stated coldly as he buttoned his coat.

"For your information, nerd, I'm wearing an undershirt, two sweaters, and my special wool coat" Deceit hissed In response.

"Yeah! Look, it's the one with cute little snakes on the sleeves!" Patton chimed in, as he lifted Deceit's arm to reveal the snake patterns.

"Well then he should have no problem. It is just a twenty minute walk after all." Logan said as he held the door open for Patton.

"Why look! It's snowing! Soon the whole city will be coated in white beauty!" Roman exclaimed as he hooked his arm with Thomas's and they twirled in circles, practically knocking into Virgil in the process.

As Thomas and Roman skipped a ways down the street, Patton started clapping in rhythm with their steps, and cheerfully chanted a Christmas song.

"Patton it's not even close to Christmas yet, don't start singing carols now" Virgil muttered to the cheerful side as he trudged along.

Roman, upon hearing the mention of Christmas carols, took the opportunity to ramble with Thomas about plans for the future holiday themed Sanders sides video.

Deceit followed miserably behind them all, his body shivering uncontrollably.

It wasn't until they were half way to the hotel that the snake side declared through chattering teeth. "I'd hate to be a burden, but I'm quite literally freezing to death back here"

The group turned to the freezing side. Patton gave a puzzling look to Logan. "Lo, Deceit never cares whether he's being a burden or not"

"Indeed, furthermore he also said that he was "quite literally freezing to death", which would also be considered a falsehood. He's fine."

Logan brushed him off and Deceit grimaced. They didn't believe him. He dragged himself along, and the group continued on their "adventure", as Roman would call it.

They were only a block away from the hotel when the heard shuffling followed by a dull thud behind them. Patton was the first to turn around, and the look of shock scared Logan into doing the same.

"Deceit!!" Patton and Logan ran to the collapsed side. He looked shockingly paler than normal, and was propping himself up unsteadily on his elbows.

"Great stars!" Roman exclaimed as he ran to assist the snake side, trying his best to hold him up. Logan was checking Deceit's pulse as Virgil turned to Thomas, asking if they should call an ambulance. "He looks pretty bad, like, worse than usual."

Logan looked back at Virgil "I believe calling an ambulance may be our only option. His pulse is extremely faint, and I don't think dragging him to the hotel would be a good idea."

“Deceit, what happened?? Say something, please???” Patton pleaded, taking his coat off and draping it over the deceitful sides’ shoulders.

Deceit could only mutter a faint “It’s so cold”, as he tried to pull Patton’s coat tighter around him.

“I’m calling 911 right now guys” Thomas chimed in, taking his phone out. 

“What do you suppose will happen when we get to the hospital? The doctors there are trained to treat humans! Not half-snake embodiments of personality traits!” Logan argued.

“Well what do you think we should do then Einstein!? It’s not like we have time to take him to a biologist! If you’re so smart why don’t you help him!” Roman yelled back, still holding Deceit up as best he could.

“Guys, let’s calm down. The ambulance is already on its way, there’s no use arguing!” Thomas proclaimed.

The ride to the hospital was nerve-wracking. Everyone was concerned, and Logan tried his best to reasure that everything would be fine.

"It's not like we were in below zero temperatures. He'll be fine"

But they all knew better. They had never taken into consideration what would happen to the snake side in such cold conditions.

At the hospital, the doctors said they didnt know what to do, and the best thing would be to wait and see if his temperature returned to normal. The nurses mostly just pestered the sides with questions regarding Deceit's reptile traits. The others didn't really have any answers for them.

It wasn't until later that night that they were allowed to see Deceit. They all wore concerned expressions as they shuffled in the room.

Deceit was curled up in the bed, clinging to the blanket.

"Dee, you feelin' any better yet?" Patton asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm so tired..and it's still cold.." the snake side whined.

"Well no wonder! These incompetent doctors can't even turn up the heat! I must go tell a nurse at once!" Roman exclaimed, and started to proudly stomp out of the room.

"I noticed that too. An-" Logan was interrupted by Virgil.

"Guys holy crap I don't feel a Pulse!"

Roman stopped in his tracks and swiftly turned back around. "What!?"

Logan ran up to Virgil's side, checking Deceit's pulse as well.

"Dee?? Say something!" Patton choked out, he had tears in his eyes.

Deceit was limp. He didn't appear to be breathing, it was so hard to tell.

Thomas was already half way down the hall, calling for a nurse or doctor to come help.

"I...I don't hear anything.." Logan said in a shaky voice, his head pressed against Deceit's chest.

Virgil and Roman were doing anything to keep him warm, throwing their coats on top of him and running down the halls, trying their hardest to find the thermastat "IT'S STILL TOO COLD FOR HIM!!" Roman shrieked, still not quite sure what to do.

"Logan I thought you knew CPR! I thought you were a scientist! A mathematician! A MARINE BIOLOGIST!" Patton was hysterical.

"I am an astrONOMER!" Logan screeched back.

From the hallway you could hear Roman and Virgil practically throwing themselves across the halls still looking for that GOD DAMN THERMOSTAT.

At this point Patton had already started stress singing. "Only miss the sun when it starts to sn-"

"PATTON-"

"ONLY KNOW YOU LOVE HER WHEN YOU LET HER GOOO-"

At that moment Logan looked to the fallen remote on the side of the bed. "Holy crap" he muttered. The remote was for the heating blanket. Logan cranked the heat up all the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the chaos had long died down, Deceit awoke covered in coats and a quite warn heating blanket,it was very comfortable. Thomas and the other sides were huddled around the bed, exhausted.

Deceit peered over the side of the bed. "....Good evening."

Patton was the first to jump up, knocking his head into Deceit in the process. "Ow-"

"You're ALIVE!!"

The other sides, and Thomas, jumped up as well. They all tackled the snake side in a hug.

Deceit was bombarded with cries of relief.

"We thought you froze to death!"

"I kinda did"

"We were so worried!"

"Good. I told you I didn't want to walk"

"We're so sorry!"

"....That's nice." The snake side didn't know how to react to all the sudden concern and affection, but he certainly didn't mind it.

After a touching reunion and a menagerie of hugs and apologies, the group came to the conclusion that they all had enough excitement for one day, and that this time they'd definitely be taking an Uber home, instead of walking.